If I Wrote For The Huffington Post – Give Geese A Chance
by Andy LevyDear Arianna,
I’m looking for a job. What do you think?
In the wake of the events of 1-15, in which a wedge of Geese brought down a US Airways aircraft, here’s what you won’t be hearing about from the so-called “Mainstream Media”: We brought this on ourselves.
After an event such as this one, it’s important to look at the root causes: Why did the Geese attack us? Well, the truth is, for years we have been oppressing the Geese, using them for the fuel they provide for our bodies.
Boneless Goose Breast, Brandied Roast Goose, Roast Goose with Cumberland Sauce and Apricot Stuffing. And of course, the Christmas Goose. In the name of religion, we have been engaged in what can only be called a Crusade against the Geese. Is it any wonder that a few brave suicide Geese would seek revenge?
Under the neocon/neofascist Cheney-Bush administration, Goose consumption is up 1541%. Geese have been systematically deprived of their rights at a level never seen before. (Look around your workplace: do you see any Geese? Wouldn’t you be nervous if you did?) Reports of shameful anti-Goose activity are at an all-time high, mainly in the South and Midwest, of course.
The fact is, WE (and, of course, Israel) are responsible for the rise of militant Gooslam. Given our actions, is it any wonder that gaggles of Goslings would reject the teachings of moderate Goose leaders, when those leaders are perceived as being in the pocket of the West? Given our actions, is it any wonder that these young Gooslamists would flock to more assertive leaders, leaders whose commitment to their cause cannot be questioned? Given our actions, the rise of a “Goosama” was inevitable. We have only ourselves to blame. (Does anyone doubt that somewhere there’s a photo of Donald Rumsfeld shaking hands with a Goose?)
In the moments right after 1-15, many have been quick to praise the actions of the US Airways pilot. But the TRUTH is that our pilots have been instruments of the BUSHITLER illegal war against the Geese. I know the Repuglicans will attack me for saying this, but speaking TRUTH TO POWER of course makes me a true PATRIOT. And very brave.
Right now America’s relationship with other species couldn’t be worse. Like most Americans, often when I’m hiking I find myself apologizing to woodland creatures for the actions of our illegitimate government. And like the rest of the world, I’m hopeful that once President Obama takes office, things will change, and that we will end our imperialistic attempts at hegemony over the rest of the planet. After all, if he can sit down with Iran and Hezbollah, he can sit down with the Geese.
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131 Comments
LMAO! Funniest thing I’ve read in a while!
Wait are you suggesting we eat geese or Arianna Huffington?
Laughs are currently pouring from my bodily form. Just like a plane through a goose.
Eating Adrianna would take a blind man with one hell of a weed trimmer.
You quack me up, but seriously; Are we going to hear this coming from the hill?:
“I long for the day when America will not be ashamed anymore,… a day when we will have a “DUCK! GOOSE” aircraft warning system on every single airliner in the country. Then, my fellow Americans, truly America will be BACK!” – Sen. John Kerry.
Andy Levy is a god!! This is great!
Keep it coming Andy!
You are quite right, Levy. We need to make as many concessions as possible. Especially to the council for American – Geese relations (CAGR). No profiling of creatures at airports, especially those that have feathers and make geese like noises. No listening to geese conversations. No investigating of Geese extremist speeches.
I feel sorry for the geese and their terrible position in the animal kingdom. Mostly because of those bastard ducks getting all the glory.
(you totes need to get hired at the Huffpo and maybe Kos)
Get real man, this was a classic false flag operation. Experiments by award winning poultry physicist Lester Nessman prove it: geese can’t fly. Google it!
1/15 WAS AN INSIDE JOB!!!
whaaaa….oh..wait…I get it…”geese” is a metaphor for “Muslims”. Silly conservatives, you missed a glorious chance to explain why “geese” should be tortured in secret prisons in order to “prevent” more attacks.
I think you’ll have a new writing gig soon, Ombuddy! HuffPo here you come!
Also the initial feeling I am left with after reading this post…
“Boneless Goose Breast, Brandied Roast Goose, Roast Goose with Cumberland Sauce and Apricot Stuffing. And of course, the Christmas Goose.”
HUNGER!
Why should geese be tortured in secret prisons?
Foie gras, you silly goose.
I think you’ll have a new writing gig soon, Ombuddy! HuffPo here you come!
Also the initial feeling I am left with after reading this post…
“Boneless Goose Breast, Brandied Roast Goose, Roast Goose with Cumberland Sauce and Apricot Stuffing. And of course, the Christmas Goose.”
HUNGER!
ps re: titov sang the blue’s comment – that’s a great idea! geesemo, coming soon!
Excellent article Andy! I am sure Bill Ayers will make a statement shortly congratulating the Gooslam extreamists on a job well done.
Goose consumption is up 1541%. I find this statistic highly inflated sir. And, of course, it negates your entire argument that we are under gooslamist attack. How dare you start from a premise and work backwards. You indeed belong on the Huffington Post!!!!!
Sorry for the double post. Big Hollywood doesn’t like me today.
One thing Andy Levy and Arianna Huffington have in common: driving men to homosexuality.
“whaaaa….oh..wait…I get it…”geese” is a metaphor for “Muslims”. Silly conservatives, you missed a glorious chance to explain why “geese” should be tortured in secret prisons in order to “prevent” more attacks.”
I suggest you get two things:
1. a sense of humor
2. lucky.
Finally- a post on Bighollywood that I could actually read without skipping words just to get to the end. Great job A.L.
i heard there was another gaggle heading towards the white house to try and throw themselves into the propeller of the Marine One helicopter, however their efforts were thwarted by a heroic park hobo who bravely threw bread crumbs at them in order to draw them off course. sadly, the hobo lost his life in the incident, however his truly heroic deed will not be forgotten, and a gilded 40 ounce beer bottle engraved with his name will be placed in front of the park bench where he once lived.
OK eating Ariana thats just plain gross!
As for me, I am proud to say I have shot my fair share of geese. So if there are to be congressional hearings I don’t mind explaining truthfully why I shot the goose and ate the goose. I waterboarded one to which apparently to our soon to be AG Eric Holder would make me a war criminal or at least an abuser of 16 pound greater Canada geese. But if I had not waterboarded said Gander we could have seen the entire city of New York carpet bombed by geese. We couldn’t have Sara Jessica Parker getting pelted by the ammunition of ammonia and acid that geese drop. Now I know Ms. Parker will not appreciate me saving her Prada from being goose bombed but let me say in my defense I know that I did my duty and waterboarded that goose.
don’t forget: All geese are not plane-droppers…but….all plane-droppers are geese… Ooops…didn’t come out as funny as I thought.
We need to allow as many geese into this country as possible, regardless of their heinous attack today. You see, geese will do the jobs other birds simply won’t do…
Not even funny.
Note that they were CANADIAN geese! What were they doing in New York? Is this another example of why we have to be more vigilant in guarding our borders?
AOEU, get a sense of humor. and probably a job that’s not at starbucks. you’re a vowel abuser.
it is WAY funny.
The Gooslamofacists were obviously incensed by the recent pardoning of Biscuits (aka “Tom”) the turkey in a public ceremony which is known to inflame the Fouliban.
On a more serious note: I’m very relieved that no one was seriously hurt or killed in the crash.
The TSA is mobilizing to make all geese fly through metal detectors at least once per day.
Wait are you suggesting we eat geese or Arianna Huffington?
God forbid.
Great column, Andy. I understand Holland has been attacked by angry Geese sympathizers in response though. I think you should retract everything and apologize for your heresy. Maybe if you just blamed Christians instead?
Now the bird profiling will begin. That is just great!!!! Call the ACLU
What does HuffPo have to do with this?
Andy, your “performance” on that insipid FOX piece of crap with the decidedly-unfunny Greg Gutfeld is laughless, and this stab at—what, humor?–is equally bad.
Can’t find real work, eh?
i would advise caution. prolonged exposure to arianna huffington has been known to drive men gay.
Look for the Dixie Chicks and TK to take the gloves off again.
Hey, Joey: I’m not the humorless guy pawning myself off as a low-rent TV comedian.
That would be Greg Gutfeld and Andy Levy.
I–like you–am expressing my opinion. You know; that most American of rights.
No Johnnyrussia, you’re just a humorless guy coming to a Conservative website to through bombs and not further any discussion.
damnit. somebody beat me to the joke.
here’s the poster that should be on the walls of student health at columbia…
http://attackcartoons.com/article.php?story=20071123075603115
I laughed, I cried.
I laughed again.
Most excellent.
Lola, whether I’m a “leftist” or not isn’t the point. I am–proudly. I just don’t find Gutfeld, Lvey, or “Red Eye” at all funny.
Simple as that.
RYUKYU:
No, I don’t “through” bombs. I express my opinion.
You just don’t agree with my politics and mistake that for a supposed lack of humor.
BTW: since when can’t a liberal visit and comment on a “Conservative” website or vice-versa? Isn’t your official news agency the one striving to be “fair and balanced?”
Lola, whether I’m a “leftist” or not isn’t the point. I am–proudly. I just don’t find Gutfeld, Lvey, or “Red Eye” at all funny.
Simple as that.
So if you don’t like the politics, don’t get the humor, and don’t enjoy the people writing, what exactly are you doing here, making dozens of insulting posts?
Oh yeah, I believe they call it being a troll.
I see liberal law suits … the airport knowingly and deliberately, put the runway into the migratory path of the geese. Same thing happens with roller coasters, ya know.
Does that mean the geese had intelligence that Fabio was on the plane?
Now America’s … GEESE … are coming home to roost, along with its chickens.
Geese were seen in the area earlier in the week scouting things out. Some passengers stated they saw geese flying in a well-trained-military-style formation directly and purposefully toward the plane. Ethics professors country-wide have come to the defense of the freedom fighting geese who, the declare, were provoked by the Little Eichmans aboard… particularly, the infant.
Hamas took a moment from shooting from the UN building in Gaza to celebrate.
When I finished reading this post, you could have knocked me over with a feather.
Seriously, I used to be down with geese. But now…
Rumor has it that all of the avicide bombers were wearing ipods playing just one song on a loop:
I walked along the avenue
I never thought I’d meet a girl like you
meet a girl like you.
With auburn hair and tawney eyes
The kind of eyes that hypnotise me through
hypnotise me through.
And I ran – I ran so far away
Ijust ran
I ran all night and day – I couldn’t get away.
How do we combat such madness?
Sorry Lola, inside joke. Zel mentioned roller coasters, so I immediately thought of the time Fabio was doing a photo op on a rollercoaster, and it went right through a flock of birds (one striking him in the face, leaving him with a nasty bloody nose). I am a font of useless trivia.
johnnyrussia,
Sorry for the misspelling. I cringed when I saw it but I was going in a different direction when I started it. I didn’t mean to imply that you aren’t welcome here. If you have a valid point, then make it. Don’t just come to heckle.
Militant Gooslam is a fowl thing!
This is what we get with “Big Hollywood”? Andy Levy flocking around?
I’m thinking those guys repairing that plane are gonna have some fine goose liver pate once they gather it all up.
This just in; a video from inside the plane –
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hh_shsRfXqk
They think they have found the mastermind behind the downing.
It was none other than one Muhammed Funny Goose. No mention of his religion!
http://www.panoramio.com/photo/4397363
Wow the left really can’t handle being the butt of the joke can they?
JohhnyRussia,
You have every right to come here for discussion, but that’s not what you did now, is it?
quoting you:
“Andy, your “performance” on that insipid FOX piece of crap with the decidedly-unfunny Greg Gutfeld is laughless, and this stab at—what, humor?–is equally bad.
Can’t find real work, eh?”
No discussion there, you just came in the room, both hands balled into fists and swinging with insults and mean-spirited attacks.
Then, when someone stepped in your face, you curled up in the corner, whimpered, and pulled the “unwelcome victim” card.
That’s how we knew you were a leftist. It’s the “go to” play in your playbook.
[...] I should have written this. [...]
Must be left Wing Geese…they fly into anything that sucks …..
are we sure it was the geese that brought down the plane and not a new Karl Rove plot to make us fear the Geese so that Haliburton can get rich and we can steel geese resources by starting another war? Just like 9/11?
FIre doesn’t melt steel, and I have it on good authority from random experts on the internet that geese cannot bring down a plane. It’s physically impossible. Clearly this is Bush/Rove’s handiwork.
I’m waiting for Rosie O’Donnell to go back on TV to tell us engine fire can’t roast geese.
Pond, that is too damn funny!!!
[...] January 16, 2009 by bcostin Big Hollywood » Blog Archive » If I Wrote For The Huffington Post – Give Geese A Chance [...]
Andy,
Stop being coy, you know as well as I that Bush/Cheney were aware of these geese ahead of time and intentionally did nothing so that it may draw attention from their failed policies.
I’m sure this event will be used in their last days to justify an act of war (at the cost of more of our brave mean and women) against geese and countries that willfully harbor geese.
By killing the geese we are only making the geese stronger.
Further proof that there is no such thing as a conservative who knows anything about satire.
The irony of that being posted on a website dedicated to “Make the lib-wuls in the media stop telling fibs about us, Mommie!!” is, of course, lost on you.
Bush must have scared those geese by dropping a pencil in the Oval office. It’s all his fault.
laughing with tears……can you include Peelosi and Buddy Hackett….er Barney in the next piece?
I think you all missing the point. These were not just any geese…they were Canadian geese. I suspect that they were trained by socialist faction within the Canadian government to attack our planes. This was a test run. I urge congress to declare war on Canada and Canadian geese now! We have to get rid of them before they do real harm to our way of life. (there are rumors that Michigan is colluding with Cananda on this viscious plot. Don’t see why we can’t just give Michigan back to Canada).
johnny russia – what the hell do you keep complaining about, dude? if you don’t like the satire here, [which happens to be very good, by the way] then don’t come here. i don’t go on keith olbermann’s site and complain that he knows nothing about politics and can’t complete a single coherent sentence.
you’re just bitter that someone made a critical and deadly accurate jab at your wussy ‘life views’ and you can’t handle it. why don’t you treat this like you treat everything else that’s wrong with the world, and just ignore it thinking it will go away?
So clearly this is the work of the CIA (Central Intelligence Aviary) and the Goossad. Hasn’t everyone noticed that there were no Jewish Canada geese among the victims? They were all told this morning to stay in their nests today. Proven fact.
[...] The attack today by a gaggle of geese on an airliner taking off in New York ought to remind people how dangerous the world can be. The first question ought to be whether we had something to do with it – did we drive those birds into attacking us? Andy Levy over at Big Hollywood is roasting a few more thoughts: In the wake of the events of 1-15, in which a wedge of Geese brought down a US Airways aircraft, her… [...]
Did you hear about the frustrated duck?
He couldn’t get his down up.
Geese are fighting back, apparently.
My Christmas Goose cost over $110 bucks for a 12-lb bird.
Andy—this is really “goose” stuff. Keep it coming!
This is all sadly too true. It’s Bush’s fault. Did you ever notice that Bush pardons a turkey annually, but never a goose? That’s racist. I’d be gunning for blood too if I were a goose.
Des, Jack and Leftist Loser are right on. I thought “troll” was accurate.
Thanks to Mr. Russia for helping to hold up the other side of the wall.
Awaiting the Truther youtube expose: “Goose Change”.
This is just nuts!
Andy is a pervert1
Is this all about him wanting to f–k a duck?
Cease talk of peace with the geese: A truce with a goose is no use.
Don’t haggle with the gaggle, etc.
Bush was seen planting explosives in the Hudson…get it? Cuz he’s stoooopid. I could prove it was an inside job but Rosie ate the evidence.
Honest to god, when I heard about what caused the crash, one of my immediate thoughts was “I wonder when PETA is going to jump all over this”. 3…….2…….
Passengers and crew of US Airways Flight 1549 all safe and sound tonight as Andy Levy knocks one out of the park.
I’d say it was a good day.
jr565-
You’re getting close. This was actually a smokescreen to divert attention and cover up the fact that Bristol Palin was giving birth for the fifth time in the last 12 months.
Andrew Sullivan could not be reached for coherence.
I don’t think they were liberal geese…I didn’t see a bail-out.
This isn’t funny. Seriously, putting all partisanship aside, this is objectively unfunny. I like good satire whether it comes form the left or right, but this isn’t it.
MXNDX-It can’t be “objectively” unfunny as humor is subjective. You didn’t like it-fine. Others did-fine. I am a little curious as to which right wing satirists you enjoy. BIG list, I’ll bet.
HuffPo kids have a little panty bunching going on over this, don’t they?
Great stuff, Andy. I feel bad for the lefties here having to defend themselves for their humaness. I wish they have somewhere else to go to.
“Wait are you suggesting we eat geese or Arianna Huffington?”
I wonder why the old joke ending with the punchline “If you really had to, you could eat a bowling ball” comes to mind.
I’m waiting for PETA to weigh in on this controversy. Surely they can take a little time away from their current anti-fishing “Sea Kitten” campaign to come up for a new name for birds to make our vicious pilots think twice about deliberately aiming planes at them.
“Air Kittens” perhaps? “Flying Puppies?
Funniest thing I have read in a long, loooong time!
Keep it up, and good work on RED EYE as well!
[...] just want equal rights to apes By datechguy Andy Levy at Big Hollywood is close but hasn’t quite nailed it concerning the airline crash in the Hudson River. After an event [...]
[...] WORD. – 01/16/2009Today Archive » [...]
Andy, come to Montana and we can shoot these terror Geese together. We had the best season in years on these winged suicide seeking monsters. We shoot in the face to save the rest for jerky.
[...] Andrew Levy, alarmed by the recession, hopes to supplement his income by blogging for Huffington Post. Excerpt from sample editorial: [...]
We want CHANGE!! We must distribute our space – let the geese have their own path. Darn these people who gets in their flight!!
[...] From here In the wake of the events of 1-15, in which a wedge of Geese brought down a US Airways aircraft, here’s what you won’t be hearing about from the so-called “Mainstream Media”: We brought this on ourselves. [...]
Impeach Boosh! If he wouldn’t have allowed that plane to fly, that flock of innocent geese would still be alive today to save the e c o nom y. The Repugnants let this happen on purpose, they knew that birds fly before the plane ever took off. By the way, the MSM has blatantly failed to report these geese were Canadian, now we have an international incident. I resent the US Government’s implication that they were here “illegally.” Immigrants have rights too! They should be free to fly.
By the way, north of the border, these geese would have received free medical attention…
The whole thing leaves a fowl taste in my mouth.
Why are my posts being b.l.o.c.k.e.d? Conspiracy!
Solidarity! Give the Booshies the bird!!!!
James S. an A Jack With One Eye: Forgive me, but I don’t take my directions from you. If I choose to visit a “conservative” site, I will do so any damn time I like. “Troll” is just a stupid cliché that is a lazy way of describing a visitor with an alternate view–which you probably call a “threat.”
And, no, it isn’t that Andy Levy isn’t funny ONLY because he’s a conservative, but it does seem to follow a pattern. Andy Levy just isn’t funny. Period. And I can’t name a single conservative humorist that I do find funny. So what?You don’t find Ted Rall funny. So what? Since when does everybody have to think the same way?
You need to grow up. This entire site is a giant whine about “liberals.” I’ve never come across such a humorless, defensive bunch of victims in my life.
And, no—I’m not going away. See my opening paragraph if you question why.
ANDY STOP BEING SO GULLIBLE! AN FLOCK OF GEESE COULD NEVER TAKE DOWN AN UNITED STATES JET PLANE.
NEVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD HAS ANYTHING!!!BEEN SUCKED INTO A JET ENGINE. JET ENGINES BLOW, THEY DON’T SUCK. THAT’S WHAT MAKES THE PLANE GO. AIR BLOWS OUT THE BACK OF THE ENGINE, IT DOESN’T SUCK.
OPEN YOUR EYES PEOPLE!! A “MIRACLE ON THE HUDSON” THE SAME WEEK BUSH LEAVES OFFICE??? DO i HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT???
The geese were Canadian!
The November issue of First Things contained the following poem by A.M. Juster:
A Stern Warning to Canada
If you want peace,
withdraw your geese.
Coincidence?
I do see Geese every day at work. No, I don’t work for a company that derives its income from geese-related products, I work in the telecommunications industry. Our office is located in a rural part of the state, and is surrounded by fields of grass. My drive into the parking lot is sometimes interrupted by waiting for the gander to cross the street, stuck like a Scottish driver on a D road inundated by sheep.
And we do a lot of goosestepping here; lovely green cylinders dot the parking lot, sidewalks, and grassy areas all around the building.
We’re already ahead of the game when the revolution comes around. Because of the habitat around the office, we’ll be able to show that we also provided support for the DACC (Deer Against Climate Change) suicide squad that have been successfully throwing themselves in front of SUVs in the area trying to slow global warming.
Wasn’t Cheney-Vader *QUAIL hunting* when he “accidentally” shot his “friend” in the “face” and “chest” ?
And some have the temerity to suggest that the Geese freedom-fighters would accept such an assault on their close cousins? Stupid, selfish Americans!
Goose culture is an *honor* culture. They had no choice but to strike back. You do violence to this proud and ancient culture when you suggest they should not defend their families and related people-group communities.
Saw this promoted on the Activity Pit so I thought I’d come over and take a gander. In the spirit of inter-species understanding, I think it is only fitting that President elect Obama pardon the geese (or what’s left of them.) After all, the warmonger Bush has pardoned turkeys! Even Clinton pardoned a few in his final days in office (apparently not enough to get Hillary elected however.) I applaud and salute you in your crusade to promote peace and understanding between us and the geese, Mr Levy. I may even renounce my membership in the GOP (Grand Old Pate.) You must ignore those who would call “fowl” and continue your brave defense of our feathered friends. For whom among us has not heard the old adage “Be kind to our webfooted friends, for a duck may be somebody’s mother?” Cannot the same be said of a goose, I put it to you?
Don’t let the reactionary mob drive you away! There are many of us watching how these bourgeois fascists treat you. Their squealing is a testament to your strength. Your cause is just and you will be victorious. Your humour will prevail just like a worker’s steel hammer will break an innkeeper’s rotten barrel.
Please note… These are not ‘Canadian Geese’ as they have no nationality (yet)…please refrain from calling them ‘Canadian’… as I’m sure all real Canadians are hurrying to separate themselves from these terror provokers.
Even the geese are upset with being named ‘Canada Geese’ and plan to sue the US for a strip of land for themselves between the US and Canada (NH,VT perhaps) – seeking to create their own State, from which they can launch further attacks on our airliners and seek UN aid when we strike back with increased hunting limits on their population – portrayed by the media everywhere as an ‘excessive response’.
JOHNNYRUSSIA:
Don’t let the reactionary mob drive you away! There are many of us watching how these bourgeois fascists treat you. Their squealing is a testament to your strength. Your cause is just and you will be victorious. Your humour will prevail just like a worker’s steel hammer will break an innkeeper’s rotten barrel.
Thanks, Dieter. This Z-list collection of Hollywood conservatives is actually quite humorous. It’s not their political beliefs I mock, it’s their humor-challenged whining.
Do to recent attacks by geese. President bush has decided to build a moat around the united states to keep the geese out.The marines will be called in to completely irradicate all geese. The President began by saying we should support our troops and if you dont agree with this new policy you are completely unpatriotic.
After realizing geese are partly aquatic,A CIA document recently uncovered by the drive by media states the water boarding of the geese have resulted in nothing. CIA director Tenet has publicly admitted in a stament released yesterday. That we dont believe water boarding to be torture as the geese seem to like it.
Great! Now our kids won’t be able to play “duck, duck, goose” anymore at school because of the goose lobby.
That and the sentence “I goosed someone” will have to be reverted to the archaic “I clumsily groped someone.”
Peter – I can tell you are on my (our) side in the struggle against the infidel…I mean capitalist oppressors.
However, your post can only be funny if 1) Pres. Bush had ever attacked critics as unpatriotic, 2) Anyone had ever called for the complete eradication (or “irradication” if you like) of anyone, 3) Water boarding had been a commonly used tactic rather than something used 4 or 5 times.
Please don’t hurt the cause!
Oh TV’s Andy Levy….handsome and humorous. My impure thoughts of you cannot be quelled. I guess the other unrecognized benefit of your spot on assessment of the “1/15 Crisis – Attack on America” is that poopoo/peepee pants liberals such as Johnnyrussia have a new distraction. He can focus on hating your brillance instead of his self-loathing and obviously small penis.
“Dieter Niederbrunnsulzen – January 16th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
JOHNNYRUSSIA:
Don’t let the reactionary mob drive you away! There are many of us watching how these bourgeois fascists treat you. Their squealing is a testament to your strength. Your cause is just and you will be victorious. Your humour will prevail just like a worker’s steel hammer will break an innkeeper’s rotten barrel.”
————————————————————————-
Ha! This reads like the commie manifesto. Workers of the World Goosestepping into the funny pages!
Seriously funny stuff Andy! Keep it coming.
————————————————————————-
The object in life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.
~ Marcus Aurelius ~
Dieter: “Don’t let the reactionary mob drive you away! There are many of us watching how these bourgeois fascists treat you. Their squealing is a testament to your strength. Your cause is just and you will be victorious. Your humour will prevail just like a worker’s steel hammer will break an innkeeper’s rotten barrel.”
How you’ve channeled the zeitgeist of the German Democratic Republic is not the most awesome thing about your post. The most awesome thing is how that fool fell for it. (Now I know who the character of Kelso in That 70’s Show was modeled on.)
Fess up – are you really Iowahawk under one of his many noms de plume?
[...] ‘If I Wrote for the Huffington Post’ – Give Geese a Chance! [...]
JOHNNYRUSSIA:
They are humourless weaklings and the tide of history will sweep them away. Show them the iron fist of the workers. Avanti!
Nice to see I’ve gotten under somebody’s thin skin. Now someone here is posing as me:
JOHNNYRUSSIA – January 16th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
You’re humorless!
You’re humorless!
You’re humorless!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
MOMMY CHANGE MY DIAPER!!!
That ain’t me, babe. And, sorry—that ain’t funny, either.
Thanks for helping me make my point, though…
[...] US Airways Conservative Wanderer 5:13 pm One wonders if Rosie O’Donnell will subscribe to this theory: Under the neocon/neofascist Cheney-Bush administration, Goose consumption is up 1541%. Geese have [...]
Yeah joke all you want about fascist US government until you end up in FEMA
goose camp.All day plucking and packing.
LOL wut?
[...] a Quack Up Saw this on a Cactus Kate thread – a good laugh indeed. In the wake of the events of 1-15, in which a wedge [...]
Dear Madelyn,
Yep.
Love,
Jeff Tacoma
You people make me sick! Some of my best friends are Geese and I can say for a fact that they are good, decent, and peace-loving. There’s actually quite a large community of Geese-Americans living in my small town. If it wasn’t for them, we’d all have to sleep on polyester pillows at night. Oh sure, they look different from the rest of us, are a bit unsociable, and have some strange customs (like eating slugs), but that doesn’t make them bad. I enjoy a good plate of snails, myself, from time to time. Is that so wrong? You people are a bunch of fowl bigots suffering from Goose Derangement Syndrome. Get a life and leave the Geese alone.
Andy, you will probably get the gig from the Geek, er Greek Princess, dawling.
Ted Nugent for drug czar!
Andy,
Well done. Obviously you spend a lot of time at HuffPost and have real feel for their required writing style. You only forgot to use the obligatory Bu$HCo phrase, mandatory if you want to be taken seriously there.
[...] prayed” – … astounding …We guard the gates of HELL! – … very funny …If I Wrote For The Huffington Post – Give Geese A Chance – ::: rolleyes ::: grin :::An Emptiness Only the Holy Spirit Can Fill – … well, this [...]
The elephant in the room, of course, is whether the American people, in their bigotry and reflexive brutality, will lash out against ALL geese in the same way they attacked innocent Muslims in the wake of 9/11. I sure hope the Ad Council has someone working on this.
If I were on the plane I would have named my next child after that incredible hero of a pilot.
Ohh… wait…. His name is Chesley Sullenberger? Deal’s off.
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[...] Give Geese A Chance. [...]
[...] ought to ask ourselves is whether we had something to do with this attack. Andy Levy over at Big Hollywood writes: In the wake of the events of 1-15, in which a wedge of Geese brought down a US Airways [...]
My wife called me about 2:00 p.m. Eastern Time on Thursday 1/15/09 and told me that she had noticed that there were a lot of flocks of geese flying around central Ohio on that cold afternoon. I laughed.
When I heard of the plane crash a couple of hours later, the light bulb went on. This whole thing was an act of terrorism orchestrated by Goose Central.
This goosism has to stop. We Americans have denigrated the goose for far too long. Games such as Duck Duck Goose and songs like The Old Gray Goose must no longer be taught in our pre-schools and schools. STOP THE GOOSISM!
The irony of that being posted on a website dedicated to “Make the lib-wuls in the media stop telling fibs about us, Mommie!!” is, of course, lost on you.
And the irony of the statement above from a member of the group that supports the “Fairness Doctrine” is, of course, lost on you.
Did no one see the Duck “Art Students” taking pictures of the crash from the Jersey side? It’s all a cover-up!
Great article. And the comments are quilling me!
Finally, America's geese are coming home to roost.
[...] Big Hollywood » Blog Archive » If I Wrote For The Huffington Post – Give Geese A Chance bighollywood.breitbart.com/alevy/2009/01/15/if-i-wrote-for-the-huffington-post-give-geese-a-chance – view page – cached In the wake of the events of 1-15, in which a wedge of Geese brought down a US Airways aircraft, here’s what you won’t be hearing about from the so-called “Mainstream Media”: We brought this on ourselves. — From the page [...]
[...] Andy Levy I’m not funny. I mean, I’m second-banana to Greg Gutfeld not funny. How fucked up is that? [...]
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