Klavan’s Oscars: The Best Films Never Made (With Vin Diesel as Andrew Breitbart)
by Andrew Klavan—–
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Tags: bush, Iraq, Oliver Stone, Robert Redford, Surge
Posted Mar 12th 2010 at 9:05 am in Film, News, Political Humor, Video |
31898656 Commentshttp%3A%2F%2Fbighollywood.breitbart.com%2Faklavan%2F2010%2F03%2F12%2Fklavans-oscars-the-best-films-never-made-with-vin-diesel-as-andrew-breitbart%2FKlavan%27s+Oscars%3A+The+Best+Films+Never+Made+%28With+Vin+Diesel+as+Andrew+Breitbart%292010-03-12+17%3A05%3A21Andrew+Klavanhttp%3A%2F%2Fbighollywood.breitbart.com%2F%3Fp%3D318986
Conservatives often talk about what they don’t like about Hollywood. That’s okay, but it’s not productive. Maybe it’s time we talked about what we do like? More to the point, let’s point out when Hollywood has gotten it right. And that brings me to the...






56 Comments
I would have LOVED all three of those movies!
Thank you Andrew Klavan!!!!
Great stuff Mr. Klavan! I am one of those who would indeed rather jab a steak knife through his forehead than watch thirty seconds of the Oscar telecast. Actually you can extend that to any of the two hundred or so award shows that now seem to have replaced the situation comedy as standard televised fare. Speeaking of Oliver Stone (and 1939) I have a theory that Mr. Stone is our generations version of Frank Capra – Only in Stone's case it is Frank Capra from some sort of dark anti-matter universe. All of Capra's greatest films were consistently optimistic, cheerful and warmly human. Capra (for all his occasional corniness) genuinely liked people, liked this country and believed in our essential decency. Oliver Stone (corny in his own way) is always a nihilist, despises his audience and always leaves us wondering why he doesn't just pull up stakes and head for Cuba.
Anyway, it was just a thought.
I avoided this year's Oscars as well. I'm reading "Empire of Lies" and really enjoying it, Mr. Klavan. Don't know if you've ever considered it, but I would like to see some of your work target the middle class, middle aged female demographic, since so many of them side with the Dems on social issues. How about a spy thriller with the DAR (Daughter's of the American Revolution) as a secret intelligence agency? It's not your granny's DAR. Too much? Well, it might be corny, but no more than Dan Brown's mythologizing of the Freemasons.
bawahahaha!!! That was great!!! There are obviously a million reasons why Diesel could never play Andrew, but I think namely because Andrew is probably a solid foot taller than him!!
THAT'S IT!! KOM ON KLAVAN!!! Get those outlines, treatments and/or scripts going!!! Or develop them with a bunch of BigHollywood folk!!! Do it!!! Make'em make'em make'em make'em!!!
bust a studio!!! the Klavan Studio!!! start off with low budget drama like these. get volunteers, well… in the back end percent case, but warn all participants not to buy that new house.
i'm still working on my 'entertainment' faire but plan on doing some hardcore scifi, fantasy, or action with Crusader relevancy! in the Robert Spencer, historically accurate sense! but i only do cg… you gotta bust live action!!! BUST IT!!!
also Im struggeling to find Father Santoro's biography,
I would love to read more on his life,
but all I can find is his murder.
a liite help please?
"Mr. Smith Goes to Cuba"?
"It's a Sucky Dam Life"?
"Mr Blandings Exploits Construction Workers"?
if he's the evil Capra where is the goatee?
Be fair – "Mr. Blandings" was directed by H.C. Potter who was still a better director than ComradeStone.
If Hollywood were really concerned mainly with making money these are films they would be making.
Unfortunately for us they are more concerned with pushing the country as far left as they can. I might grudingly respect them for sticking to their principles, but most of them already have more money than they can use in their lifetimes and their principles are going to destroy the country I love.
Why Andrew Klavan doesn't have a show on Fox I'll never know – awesome work again!
Basic equation of Comedy: The longer the distance between the audience guessing your punchline and your delivery of it, the less funny it becomes.
Thank you for the correction…still, doesn't it qualify as Capra-esque?
— On Fri, 3/12/10, IntenseDebate Notifications <notifications@intensedebatemail.com> wrote:
Mr. Klaven, you take sarcasm to level I could only dream of. And you do it with such ease. My compliments.
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When you have the first drafts of these screenplays, will you share them with us, Mr. Klavan?
I dunno, I think Vin Diesel is the perfect actor to play Breitbart.
Outstanding! I am with hollywoodron, MAKE "EM!
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is a better fit to play Breitbart. No one can do Andrew's confrontation scenes better than a former wrestler. In addition, Dwayne is a pretty good comedic actor, and would capture Breitbart's unique humor.
Right on the money Klavan keep 'em coming
An insult from MovieBob is the highest form of flattery.
Hey, was he likening watching NCIS to poking oneself in the eye with a stick? Look Klavan, I like you, man, but don't mess with Gibbs.
I was thinking more Adam Baldwin
That was my thought exactly. I'd much rather watch old NCIS reruns than most of the new offerings on tv. Much better than a stick in the eye.
That Santoro sounds like a great story to be made into a film. Think I'll do some research, write a script and try to get it produced. Of course Hollywood wouldn't make it. Anybody know of any Christian film companies?
The Oscars?? Whaaattt???
No, he was saying NCIS was infinitely preferable to watching the Oscars. Poking yourself in the eye with a stick was listed as something
"The glamour, the humor and suspense of the NCIS rerun you watched. Because you'd rather poke yourself in the eye with a stick than endure Hollywood congratulating itself-"
Ah, okay then. Klavan's vids would still be my favorite, anyway.
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