Terror Pictures, Torture Pictures: Follow Up
by Ari DavidFOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Subject: Declassified Water Boarding Photos. Is it torture? You decide.
A citizen of Siam (Thailand) was recently captured on American soil with trace amounts of an unknown chemical agent. Due to homeland security policy, the foreign national was examined. The trace elements seemed to contain a high level of ammonia felinas, a chemical the EPA recently classified as a toxic greenhouse gas in its vapor state and an eye inflamitant (sp?) in its solid state.
After initial traces were found, the foreign national then distributed a large amount of ammonia felinas into the bed of an American citizen who called in a haz-mat squad and department of Homeland Security (DHO) personnel to apprehend the foreign national and interrogate her for more information about the offense.
These are the pictures of the interrogation and imprisonment of the foreign national. Did DHO torture the suspect? What did DHO and Nancy Pelosi know and when did they know it? You will have to decide.
WARNING! The pictures you are about to see of this incident are brutal:
The Suspect
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We must find the Intel for the impending attack.
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Increasing the pressure on the suspect by escalating to the LATHER stage.
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DHO claims the suspect broke only after a second stage called the ‘rinse’.
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CIA operatives report good Intel from the previous session so they gave the suspect the towel.
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The suspect in Solitary at Guantanamo Bathroom Detention Center.
Obama thinks foreign nationals like this deserve full rights.
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59 Comments
Poor kitty! That IS torture! At least they didn't do the dreaded blown hot air….
meow
In the fourth picture the suspect is clearly being strangled and waterboarded at the same time, no doubt by Blackwater thugs tied up with Halliburton or maybe it is Dick Cheney himself. Those pasty white arms look suspiciously familiar.
Torture indeed.
BTW, is there anything sadder or more pathetic looking than a sopping wet cat?
cute, but effective!
I don't think that there's anything funnier in the world than a wet cat…or Cats that look like Hitler
They snuck one from Persia into my apartment, and another from Burma next door. The carpets will never recover, but I don't think those saboteurs will ever try anything like it again. They're very sneaky. Mine was perfectly disguised as a completely normal Calico. Its accent gave it away.
This is tough. I happen to have a Siamese seal point being held at my home detention center. The camp mistress puts this poor Siamese through the exact same program almost monthly! Also followed by a spell of solitary in Bathroom Detention. Its not pretty, but some say it has to be done…
That cat is obviously an In-fur-del, she's not wearing a Purrrr-qa.
Pelosi without moisturizer.
Pun–ishable by death.
The last time I tried to wash a cat I nearly lost an arm. Props on not letting the perp maul you. Some of us interrogators are not so lucky. Washing cats is dangerous business.
I second that. The one and only time I tried to wash a cat turned into a bloodbath, Freddy Kruger style.
I opened this article, wondering what it would be about. I accidentally took a bite of a triple cheeseburger, then scrolled down. . .the bite of burger is now lodged – quite firmly – in my lung. Delightful!
I've a cat sitting at home, who has no idea his brethren has been broken. When I tell him, I'm sure he'll make a break for it.
Shame on you for releasing these photos, Ari. The backlash could be cat-astrophic.
Even after all of those graphic pix I still can't find anything wrong with it.
Hahaha! I've been to that site, it's crazy.
I always knew it would be the cats…never trust a cat.
Or Botox.
For some reason Pelosi without moisturizer or Botox makes me think of a mummy rather than something sad or pathetic.
Typing "moisturizer" for the first time in my life (above) was a little uncomfortable… same for the second time.
Where is Andy Levy in all this? Shouldn't he be defending the honor of Pixel and Stormy?
Damn! Now THAT's taking your life in your hands! Washing a Siamese cat. Come on, it's bad enough with any cat, period – but Siamese? Man, someone must have had a death wish.
Man, wouldn't that be funny if they tried that on Pelosi? I mean, look at how much of that cat's body mass disappeared once the taps were turned on. If the same percentage of body mass left Pelosi, we'd have nothing but her buggy eyes winking out at us.
"I accidentally took a bite of a triple cheeseburger, then scrolled down. . .the bite of burger is now lodged – quite firmly – in my lung."
This is why we're against releasing the pictures in the first place! It will only incite more harm!
What… no welding gloves? Put that guy in for a medal!
P.S. Did the subject provide any useful information?
A towel!?! You dried that animal off with a towel!?! I thought you were trying to get him to talk!
Next time, use a blow dryer!
CAN I HAZ TORCHER???
Pelosi with moisturizer
Peta and Greenpeace, suing DHS, Obama apologizing and appointing the first Cat Wrangler as a Cabinet post.
cats suck
You're right Ken, according to Vince, this is the perfect application for the Sham WoW. This whole torture thing leaves me cat-atonic.
One critical step they did not show, exposure to the Hot Tin Roof.
I hope you weren't blaring Bon Jovi music when you washed the cat. Now that would be torture.
It's feline-ious assault!
oh what? The republicans on this comment section do not like Nancy Pelosi? I’m shocked.
As a dem, and liberal troll, I have to say: You guys all already blew your vote on Pelosi- you’re motives are highly questionable since there is a long established history for your hatred of this woman.
Further, (again, as a dem troll): Democrats, face it: Pelosi has “jumped the shark” big time. By calling the CIA into question, as a Dem, she’s pushed one of the Democrats special “Nuclear Buttons”. Now dems: This means its time to line up: You are either with Pelosi or you are against her.
Republican’s watch out: what I’m about to say is very Machiavellian, which may be morally flawed I realize, but – right/wrong, IF Pelosi goes down as the sacrificial democrat (like Hilary did for another famous Bush Era Democrat Capitulancy(tm))…Then you can bet your as$es this will be the next hostage to be shot in the Great American Torture-VS-Justice Philosophical Quest will be your former VP!
That’s right, Liz Cheney’s been sent to get out in front to attack Pelosi and character-assassinate Powell’s army buddy. Why? Well we shouldn’t be surprised to notice that Dick Cheney LIVES by the ethos that a strong offense is the best defense – I believe that’s what people of his kind stand for, pretty much. That’s why they are so, “offensive”, so to speak!
Why is Dick Cheney still on the offensive, months after relinquishing control of the reigns of Vice Presidential power? Because of the CIA- Oops, I meant to say: Because of CYA. Do you know what THAT stands for???
sweet, now that we're water torturing cute things of our own… I call dibs on Prejean!
I've long known cats are overwhelmingly terrorists, they frequently sink their claws into the nearest body part when demanding food or, rarely, a mere petting. And if I don't accede to their demands to frequently clean out the LitterMaids (no, one is not enough for them!) they'll simply find something potentially valuable to wreak havoc on. They may do that anyway just for their amusement, or out of spite! Nevermind the ongoing damage to furniture and fabrics as they train with their weapons, the physical injuries if you displease them, the seemingly random torturing as they jump on sleeping people… Oy!
Is there any wonder why 101 Uses for a Dead Cat is still in publication? It first came out in 1981! It has two sequels!
You're calling dibs on getting Miss California all wet and lathered up? Too bad you're no agent of intelligence, nor know what information you're seeking.
Nancy Pelosi has released a statement, "I did not know when they said they were going to bath a cat that they actually were going to BATH A CAT until PETA informed me that I would lose their political donations if I didn't object to the torture."
Umm, sure, whatever, knock yourself out. Here's a brick.
What is she supposed to be wearing, purr-jamas?
Wet Kats! Now that’s just plain funny, (and scary.)
While you all have been laughing at the poor Kitty’s torturous dilemma, I have been busy over the week-end, tracking down and capturing, the real “Web Terrorists” at this site.
Under an order from the ACLU, I must, (against my will), post the photo of my success.
Auntie Pie, gets her just deserts, (minus pie), for her outrageous lies, and vile drive by trolling, at the hands of 1GooDDaDDy and the ever vigilant, dedicated team BH.
http://www.screencast.com/users/GooDDaDDy/folders...
Not Over.
Stray cats music would be worse.
Even better. Or, maybe, CATS: The Musical?
If only the citizens would realize how horrific is the real torture other countries use when interrogating suspected terrorists. I heard those from that first country you mention have been made into carpets, while those from the second have been fed to large snakes so often they named a python for it!
Hmmmm. A couple of possible cottage industries. Thanks for the tip, Kadaka.
That wet cat looks like every liberal politician out there..An all wet PuXXy and ugly at that. .
I don't know what sort of yield you'd get converting terrorists to cottages, might take a truckload each, but I support your right to do so. However I have heard greasy hippie hair is excellent for English thatched roofs, I believe you have a good supply available locally.
If we're not careful, we'll have a capitalist enclave right here in Moscow by the Bay. Build a better cottage, and the world will beat a path to your door.
That's funny, her name is Skimbleshanks!
You're going to need a "green" angle for marketing and to secure federal funding… Got it! Bring Your Own Anarchist or Terrorist To Recycle – It's BYOATTR for the environment!
Yup, the fur is going to fly now.
Cat Stephens maybe?
If she knows all the lyrics, definitely a terrorist.
Obamamama in the Whitehouse…
Pelosi.. Period.
OMG! And the last picture shows the glowing laser eyes of the "Pelosi" breed!!! I won't be able to sleep for weeks! shudder…
I want to see a waterboarding attraction open up at amusement parks and carnivals – with human subjects, not cats. Just think about it —- "Step right up folks, and be waterboarded. We waterboard you all 12 at a time, and the longest holdout wins a cupie doll." I would love to see amustment park patrons strip naked and let themselves be waterboarded just for the chance to win a silly prize. There would probably be a lot of takers too.
beware of Kitler and the Furred Reich!!
if I were an agent of intelligence… I wouldn't be here.
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